wat bout pragnant strippers??
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
