I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
