What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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