You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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