you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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