i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
