you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
