I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Even my vagina gasped.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
