the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
