This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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