I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
