i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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