she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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