bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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