Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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