Sry I called you an 8
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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