with your own penis?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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