Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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