it was like a zeppelin in a condom
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
