he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
