If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
