I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
