oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
im about as happy as oj after his trial
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
