Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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