I think I am morally bankrupt
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
