how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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