Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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