I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
