People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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