I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
