oh god the rape fog is back!
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
