And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
