i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
