reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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