He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
