I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize