I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
