ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
