whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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