the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We're too hungover to prance.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize