What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
