I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize