some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
