I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
