I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
