Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
