Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
