i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
