and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
