dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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