He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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