Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
