I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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