oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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