Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
