The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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