She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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